Greetings. It is raining again in Chester County, PA this morning. I think it is getting to people. Our walk in the park was a bit different. Usually, the elderly folks cram dog treats into their pockets. Today we were greeted with middle fingers pointing toward the Heaven's. A local gun shop is having a 'Buy one get one free' handgun special and when I asked my Priest this past Sunday, 'Rainy enough for you' at Communion, he shoved the host down my throat and then slapped me. Mental Health Week is fast approaching and it couldn't arrive at a better time. So hold off on that handgun purchase and save your cash for a new bathing suit. This rain too shall pass. Interestingly, on this day in 1809, Mary Kies became the first woman awarded a U.S Patent, for a technique of weaving straw with silk and thread. The following Fall she started the first course in 'Basket Weaving 101'. I hung all of those blackout shades yesterday that a client purchased to keep the blinding sunlight out and to prevent her furnishings from becoming bleached. No, I didn't give her a refund, but we did laugh at the irony. To MB, yes I did use the intro yet again and hope that by this week's end I won't have to repeat myself! Also to KWL in Hawaii, I smugly hope that you are enjoying all of that sunshine. Mine comes in a pretty blue bottle for now. I just added some to my cappuccino! Have a f*&^ing great day everyone! Today's photo is of a hand painted Antique Patina Table Lamp simply because I need some light...from any source. *Some of today's blog is utter nonsense. "Blame It On The Rain".
Mental Hospital Answering Machine.
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly .
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call .
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship .
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press .
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway .
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696 .
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep . Please wait for the beep... .
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 ..
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 ..
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 .
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you .
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry . You won't be crazy forever .
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up .
In these coming weeks it is National Mental Health Care week .You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care .Well, my job is done . .
"Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking. " Elsa Maxwell
